Finding a therapist can be a real headache nowadays - making calls, sending emails, and feeling like the people who get back to you just aren’t what you’re looking for. I hear you! It’s difficult to find someone you feel comfortable with; however, in my experience so far, I’ve learned from clients and other therapists what is helpful to consider along the way. Here, I’ve outlined my 5 tips to find a therapist that fits your needs and preferences!

I imagine you’re here because you’re thinking about finding a therapist or you’re in the process of finding one - yay! I’m so glad you’re here! Many people I’ve talked to don’t know where to start or what they’re looking for, which makes the process super difficult. While everyone has their own needs, goals, and preferences, I’ve found a few commonalities in what helps build an authentic and comfortable therapeutic relationship.

Think about your goals

Before starting your journey, I encourage you to think - and really think about what it is you want to accomplish. The way I discuss this with my clients is posing this question: how will you know you no longer need to meet with me? This could be learning how to manage anxiety, building a positive support system, decreasing the impact of trauma on your daily life - it’s entirely up to you. Having an idea of what you’re wanting to accomplish or areas you want to improve helps both you and your therapist utilize the therapy time and space more effectively, which helps you get more out of the experience as a whole.

Do you have personal preferences?

Now, I realize this is a broad question, but there are a wide variety of preferences a person can have about their therapeutic experience. Because therapy oftentimes involves difficult conversations and practicing new skills and behaviors, finding a therapist that fits those preferences as much as possible can help you feel more comfortable in the process. A few of the common preferences I’ve heard from clients are the therapist’s gender identity, specializations (trained in a specific modality, like EMDR), age range and/or level of experience, really anything! There are also logistical preferences like in-person v. virtual sessions, time and day, frequency of sessions, etc.

It’s okay to have preferences - this is your therapeutic journey and your comfort with your therapist is an important piece in you accomplishing the goals you’ve identified. My goal as a therapist is to help create a safe space with my clients and have the difficult conversations to help them grow - but we have them at their pace.

Are you a leader or a follower?

Catherine, what does this even mean? I’m glad you asked! I’m not asking if you’re a trendsetter or a follower, but it’s important to think about how “active” you want your therapist to be in sessions. I’ll explain: some of my clients prefer to use our sessions as a space to talk through their experiences while I pose questions and challenge assumptions or unhelpful thoughts they may have, while others prefer a more directed approach where I walk them through specific skills and we practice them together. Not every therapist is going to operate one way or the other, so I encourage you to think about what you think would be most beneficial for you. I personally like to mix the two depending on what a client wants to discuss - we’ll talk things through while incorporating skills that can be helpful in the given conversation.

Ask questions!

Many therapists offer a phone consultation before scheduling an initial session, but not all do. So, if you have questions for the therapist you’re thinking of working with, I encourage you to ask them; however, I do also encourage being mindful of personal boundaries! Want to know their experience with what you’re seeking support for? Ask! During both the phone consultation and initial session with clients, I give them the opportunity to pose questions, even if it’s after we’ve moved forward in the conversation. My goal as a therapist is to help my clients feel comfortable and to be curious, including if that curiosity is about me, my experience, or information they’ve seen on social media.

Listen to your gut

While starting therapy for the first time, or starting with a new therapist, can be intimidating, it’s intended to be a healing process, no matter what you’re wanting to work through. Along with everything mentioned above, compatibility of personalities is an important aspect of the therapeutic process. Now, I’m not saying to find a therapist you want to be friends with - that’s not what we’re going for here because, ya know, boundaries. But just like your personality is different from your neighbor’s, every therapist has their own personality and worldview. Some therapists take a more stoic or “blank” approach and don’t show much of their personality, while others bring their personality into the therapy space.

Here’s an example: As an intern, I thought I had to be “blank”, so I tried to operate in that way, but I enjoy bringing my personality to the therapy space and I’ve learned I’m more helpful to clients when I do! I use analogies, sarcasm and jokes (when appropriate!), and movie references. I realize not every client is going to jive well with that, and that’s okay. So it’s important for you to consider what feels good for you and your personality, and if a therapist you’re talking to doesn’t feel like the right fit, that’s perfectly okay!

Conclusion

Finding a therapist can be a hard, grueling process, but there are several considerations that can help you pinpoint what you’re looking for and help you feel more comfortable choosing the therapist you want to work with. Identify your goals and preferences, ask questions, and listen to your gut - they can help guide you on your journey!

As always, I’d like to be clear that this blog post is intended for educational purposes only, and is not intended to replace professional counseling or clinical advice. If you’re in need of support, please consider speaking to a professional.

You are also welcome to contact me to see if I might be able to support you as you journey forward.

~ Catherine