Finding a therapist can be a real pain in the ass - all the research, phone calls, scouring Psych Today, and everything in between just to not hear back or for every therapist under the sun to be full. But, when you get that call back and get something scheduled, you’re left wondering “well, now what?” That’s the very questions we’re going to answer - how to prepare for your first therapy session!

You’ve found a potential therapist - now what?

Yay! You’ve found a potential therapist - that’s a big step in your healing! If you’ve never been to therapy, you may be wondering what to expect, a totally fair question to have! I’ve compiled a list of things I’ve found helpful as a client, as well as things myself and other clinicians feel you should know to help you prepare for your first therapy session!

Ask how/if the intake will be structured

If given the opportunity, it can be helpful to ask your therapist if the first session is structured, and if so, what the structure of the session will be. Personally, I conduct informal intake sessions, meaning I have general questions I like to ask new clients to get to know them better, but I let the conversation go where it’s going to go, use appropriate humor, and curse in sessions. Granted, we won’t spend the entire session talking about dogs (as much as I would love that!), but to me, getting to know you and your life is the first step toward healing, making it extremely important.

Manage your expectations

No matter how experienced your therapist is, they won’t know everything about everything - it’s simply impossible. But with that said, if there are certain preferences you have in terms of the type of therapy you’re looking for (EMDR, brain spotting, Eating Disorder Specialist, etc.), I encourage you to explore those options with your therapist.

If I’m meeting with a new client for the first time, I make sure to give them to time and space to ask questions, voice concerns, and discuss anything they want to ensure comfortability and understanding of what therapy with me will be like.

I encourage you, as frustrating as finding a therapist can be, not to settle for a therapist you don’t think is right for you. It may sound like common sense, but I hear from many clients who have done so before and it can stall your healing process - we don’t want that for you!

Think about your goals

Think, and I mean REALLY think about what you want out of therapy. Some goals are more tangible than others, and that’s okay, but think about what meeting those goals will look and feel like - how will your life look once you accomplish those goals. These answers can help guide you and your healing journey, but also requires intentional reflection and honesty with yourself about where you are and where you’re going so that your therapist can help support you along the way.

Timing makes a difference

The timing of your session can also play a major role in how you participate in the therapy process. If you plan to have therapy immediately after you get home from work, you may find yourself stressed to get home (we all know how much we love traffic when we’re in a hurry!) or having difficulty shifting your mind into an emotionally vulnerable space. The same goes for if you live with other people - it can be helpful to try to plan for a time when there’s less noise in your living space to help you concentrate and be fully present with your therapist. I understand this may not always be possible, but make sure you have a private space so you can work on your healing more effectively.

Distinguish between productive & unproductive discomfort

Therapy is naturally going to come with forms of discomfort - you’re discussing traumas, vulnerable experiences, and for some, sharing things about yourself that you’ve never shared with anyone else. It’s a wonderful thing and helps us heal from our past experiences, but that discomfort is immensely different from feeling uncomfortable with your therapist or the way they conduct sessions with you. If you feel uncomfortable with something, I encourage you to voice that; however, you can also stop seeing your therapist if you feel unsafe expressing your concerns to them directly.

Your comfort through the discomfort that comes with healing is of utmost importance in the therapy space and it’s something that should be prioritized.

Conclusion

It’s no secret that finding a therapist, let alone a therapist you connect with, is an odyssey in and of itself, but once you do, the therapeutic space and healing journey are tailored to you, with the primary focus being to support and guide you toward accomplishing your goals!

You are welcome to contact me to see if I might be able to support you as you journey forward, either as your therapist (for those residing in Virginia) or as your coach!

~ Catherine