If you’re a human being - I assume you are! - you’ve probably run into a cognitive distortion here and there. But Catherine, what the heck is a cognitive distortion? I’m glad you ask! In this post, you’ll learn what cognitive distortions are, common examples we may fall into, and pointers to help you overcome them when they arise!

Defining cognitive distortions

Cognitive distortions are irrational thought patterns, often fueled by emotions rather than facts, that further impact how we feel, how we view ourselves and others, and our overall worldview. Essentially, they’re thoughts that are not factual, but make us feel really crappy about ourselves and can result in mental health challenges like anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, etc.

Personally, I prefer to use the term “unhelpful thoughts” when working with clients, as the word ‘distortion’ can feel…rather harsh. So throughout this post, I’ll use these interchangeably but I’m referring to the same thing!

Common Cognitive Distortions

There are many types of unhelpful thinking patterns, some are more common than others. I’ve outlined the cognitive distortions that come up most often in sessions with clients, as well as some examples of how they might show up in your daily life without you even realizing it!

Labeling

Labeling is when you label yourself or others negatively, often as a generalization. An example of this is calling yourself a “bad parent” because you were late getting your kids to school, or a “failure” because you didn’t do as well as you hoped on a math test. Just because you were running behind and were late getting the kids to school, doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent - you can still be a great parent and be running late. You can also still be successful, even if you didn’t do well on a math test. However, the unhelpful thought pattern assigns value to the whole (your entire being) based on one incident or experience.

Personalization & Blame

Things go wrong sometimes - we’re human and make mistakes, and that’s okay! Someone who falls into this unhelpful thinking pattern may take ALL the responsibility and blame for a situation, even if it’s not theirs to take responsibility for, or may blame others with no justification for doing so. This is common for people who experience depression, social anxiety, perfectionism, and low self-esteem.

Catastrophizing

This one is a more well-known distortion; however, it can still go undetected. Catastrophizing is when you assume the absolute worst case scenario is going to happen. Here’s an example: you get called into your boss’ office and you wonder if you did something wrong. Next thing you know, the story in your mind is that your boss is going to fire you, you won’t be able to pay your rent on time, you’ll be kicked out, and you won’t have anywhere to live. Now, you’re anxious and running on adrenaline for something that hasn’t even happened.

Black and White Thinking

Black and white thinking, also referred to as all-or-nothing thinking, is when our thoughts don’t reflect the true complexities of a situation, relationship, or experience. These thoughts are polarized, sometimes including words like always, never, all, or none, and can lead to perfectionistic thinking patterns for some people (learn more here). Black and white thinking is based on the illusion that there’s only two possible outcomes (right and wrong), rather than a spectrum of possibilities.

“Shoulds”, “Musts”, and “Have Tos”

These are among the most common distortions I hear from clients in my practice - we refer to them as “the shoulds”. Basically, this occurs when you have rules or expectations about how things or people should be/behave. Sometimes these are self-made expectations, while other times they stem from societal, cultural, and/or familial expectations that you may or may not agree with. The common phrases I hear revolve around family values, career/education, and perceptions of success, and often come with feelings of dissatisfaction or feeling like a failure in the eyes of someone else.

Emotional Reasoning

Emotional reasoning probably occurs more often than we realize. It’s the belief that how you feel is evidence or reflects reality. This becomes problematic when our emotions cloud our judgement of a situation or person. If you’re feeling insecure, you may view your partner’s silence as an indication that something is wrong, or if you’re angry, you may be more likely to view a coworker reminding you of an assignment as them nagging you. In reality, your partner may be tired or your coworker may want to be supportive, but your emotions can alter our perception of these interactions to fit how we’re feeling internally.

Magnification & Minimization

Think of this like a camera lens zooming in and out in various situations. Magnification is zooming in - exaggerating the importance of shortcomings, problems, and attributes the person perceives as negative. On the other hand, we can also find ourselves zooming out - minimization, similar to discounting the positive (explained next), discounts the importance of positive or desirable qualities.

Discounting the Positive

Also referred to as ‘negative focus’, discounting the positive means you ignore the positive aspects of a situation and only focus on the negatives. This could mean ignoring the ways someone shows affection and focusing on that person not providing words of affirmation. Focusing on the parts of your job that you hate, rather than also acknowledging the good things about it.

Jumping to Conclusions

Jumping to conclusions is more well known cognitive distortion, and is referenced on social media, mass media, and maybe in our own relationships. Basically, we’re falling into this unhelpful thought pattern when we make assumptions based on little to no information. My spouse hasn’t answered my text in a while, they must be hurt! Now, in some cases, this may be true; however, there are also other possible explanations - maybe they’re working, taking a nap, left their phone in another room, etc. But we’ve taken the lack of a response as an indication that they are hurt, despite there being no further information to base our conclusion.

Mind Reading

Okay, try to guess what I’m thinking! You can’t, right? That’s because we’re not mind readers; however, we often fall into this cognitive distortion despite that fact. As the name says, when you assume you know what other people are thinking and feeling, you’re attempting to read their minds! I’m sure my mom’s angry at me. My friends probably think I’m annoying. Nobody wants me here. These are examples of mind reading - they can come up pretty easily, but unless we’re told these things directly or treated as such, there’s room for it to be inaccurate..

“Fortune Telling”/Predictive Thinking

Alright, I know what you’re thinking! See what I did there? Ah, therapist jokes… but no, we don’t need a crystal ball or cards to fall into this unhelpful thinking pattern. Often gooing hand in hand with catastrophizing and emotional reasoning, fortune telling is when we think an outcome and future events are set in stone. Typically, the outcomes are believed to be negative or unwanted, but bound to happen, which can contribute to feelings of depression and anxiety due to the perceived lack of control of the outcome.

Overgeneralization

Overgeneralization is when a single negative event occurs and we assume it’s a pattern or indicative of the whole. The last person I dated loved Star Wars and they were a jerk - Star Wars fans must all be jerks. I highly doubt all Star Wars fans are jerks, right? But this ‘person’ is taking one poor experience and making an assumption about the entire Star Wars community. This thought pattern can go in both directions; however, it’s typically negative assumptions that occur.

Fallacy of Control

Last, but certainly not least! This distortion comes up a lot in my sessions with clients - the belief or assumption that you can control everything that happens in your life. This thought pattern leads individuals to believe they deserve the harmful and painful experiences they’ve had because they “didn’t do enough” to stop it from happening. While it’s important to reflect on different actions we can take or how we can learn from experiences, sometimes we have negative things happen that are outside of our control.

Shifting Your Approach

We’ve all fallen into these unhelpful thinking patterns, but what do we do about them? Well, we can’t control our thoughts, but we can take time to reflect on them before we take them at face value. This can be done in a variety of ways and it’s helpful to tailor this process to how your mind works - it’s not a one size fits all! Some examples my clients have found helpful are:

• Journaling: how this looks is entirely up to you, but make it as unfiltered as possible - this can help highlight where these thoughts and/or beliefs might be coming from.

• Use your creativity: whether you like to draw, write, dance, paint, crochet, etc., take time to practice it for a while. When cognitive distortions are present, we’re typically in a more emotional state of mind, which can alter how we perceive the world around us. Taking time to express your emotions in a creative way allows you to process them in a helpful way, and makes us more likely to think rationally.

• Practice compassion: my clients have shared that while this is one of the more helpful methods for them, it’s also one of the hardest. We often beat ourselves up for the thoughts we have - I’ve done it too! You might feel ashamed, frustrated, and critical of yourself, telling yourself “don’t think like that!”. The problem? Our minds don’t operate as well in the negative - and no, I’m not talking about negative thoughts! Think about it this way: you’re told not to push the red button in front of you. What’s the first thing you want to do? Let’s say it together - “push the red button!” Exactly! If we tell ourselves not to do or think something, we actually end up spending MORE time thinking about it and it makes us more likely to engage in the behavior. Instead, acknowledge the thought, say hello to it, whatever floats your boat, but sit with it - why is this thought coming up? Why am I feeling this way? Be curious with yourself, as you would with a friend or family member.

Conclusion

We all can be susceptible to unhelpful thinking patterns, but just because we think it, it doesn’t mean it’s true. It’s important to reflect on how our experiences and emotions may be clouding our perception or judgement in a given situation, and think before we act on thoughts fueled by emotions.

As always, I’d like to be clear that this blog post is intended for educational purposes only, and is not intended to replace professional counseling or clinical advice. If you’re in need of support, please consider speaking to a professional to be evaluated.

You are also welcome to contact me to see if I might be able to support you as you journey forward.

~ Catherine