Are you looking for better ways to cope with anxiety, but don’t know where to start? In this article, you’ll learn a therapist’s top five tips on how to cope with anxiety to help you live life to the fullest!

Why do i feel anxious anyway?

We can experience anxiety for a multitude of reasons and in a variety of ways, but through working with clients over the years, there’s one common thread - protection. You may be asking, “protection from what?” Hear me out: anxiety typically involves thinking through every possible scenario, often the worst case scenarios, in a given situation. This could be what other people think about you, the ‘what ifs’, attempts to avoid a negative outcome or feeling…sound familiar?

The intention of anxiety is to protect you from an undesirable feeling or outcome - if I do this behavior, or if I can think through and prepare for every possible situation, I’ll feel better. In some cases, this can be true; however, when this process goes into hyperdrive and starts impacting sleep, your appetite, social habits, and/or overall daily life, this process is becoming more harmful than helpful.

To help with this, I’ve provided a list of coping strategies my clients have found the most helpful over the years to better manage their anxiety. Does this mean the anxiety will go away entirely? No, and honestly, we don’t want anxiety to disappear completely - it does help us in a lot of ways! But, these strategies can help make the anxiety feel more manageable so you can continue to do the things you enjoy and be present!

Tips on how to cope with anxiety

1. breathe, breathe, breathe

   I can feel the eye roll from here, but hear me out! Sometimes when anxiety is present, our breathing changes and can become more shallow, making it more difficult for us to think clearly. “But Catherine, how do I do this?” I’m so glad you asked! There are a few methods that can help regulate our breathing, but they all follow a similar pattern.

   I refer to it as box breathing, but it can also be referred to as breath counts, tactical breathing, etc. I’ve included a graphic below - feel free to follow along or save it for future use. Starting at a corner of the box, inhale deeply for a count of four while you visualize moving to the next corner. Once you’re there, hold for four seconds as you visualize moving to the next corner, then exhale for a count of four, and hold again for a count of four. Doing this will naturally regulate your breathing, as well as calm your nervous system, which is activated during times of anxiety.

Fresh air

I’m sure we’ve all heard the phase “nature is healing”, and while it doesn’t fix a broken arm, it can definitely help with our mental health! Fresh air, as little as a few minutes throughout the day, can make a huge impact on anxiety levels. I know we don’t want to think back to quarantine - I know, I’m cringing too - but data from 2020 and 2021 has shown a correlation between time outdoors and mental health improvements, including decreased anxiety levels (Jackson, Stevenson, Larson, Peterson, and Seekamp, 2021). With this in mind, it can be very helpful during times of anxiety to take a few minutes outside or next to an open window and practicing our breathing from the previous tip! This includes sitting out on the balcony/patio, going for a walk, keeping a window open, or popping in and out throughout the day.

Ice, Ice, Baby!

No, not the song, silly! Although, if it helps you, I’m not one to judge :) When anxiety hits, it throws off what’s called our sympathetic nervous system, which is in charge of our fight-or-flight response. In this state, we’re typically not in our most rational state of mind and are more likely to act on impulse. To tune back into our body and the present moment, it’s helpful to lean into our senses. In more overwhelming moments of anxiety, our bodies will need something intense to interrupt the anxious thought cycle/spiraling. What can interrupt this? A variety of things, but the most helpful one clients have utilized is ice. Now, we can be creative because ice can be messy since it does melt eventually - ya know, science.

Alternatives to ice can include an ice pack or frozen veggies/fruit (ideally something that can be thawed and re-frozen), a cold shower, and placing your hands in a bowl of water with ice cubes in it. What if the cold does bother me? We’re not all Elsa, I understand. Luckily, there are other strategies we can use that serve the same purpose! Some non-temperature related options are sour candy, biting into a lemon/lemon juice, or hot sauce (just a dab! We’re not trying to burn off our taste buds here).

Comfort item

When we’re feeling overwhelmed by our emotions, we gravitate toward people, places, or things that bring comfort, right? So naturally, we can lean into this tendency to intentionally bring comfort during times of high anxiety. For some people, this can be a stuffed animal, blanket, a scent, or an object that reminds you of someone or something you care about.

Take that item, whatever it is, and use your senses to describe it in detail. What does it look like? Does it have a texture? Maybe a smell? A memory associated with it? Is it warm, cold, soft, or sturdy? Describe it in as much detail as possible, spending several minutes with each of your four sense - touch, smell, sight, and sounds. I don’t suggest putting things in your mouth… :)

Anxiety tends to pull us into thoughts about the past or future, while this process forces your brain to slow down the anxious thoughts to tune into your sensory experience in the here and now.

anxiety first aid kit

There are first aid kits for all kinds of physical injuries - why not mental health?! This one involves some prep work and awareness of what typically soothes you during times of anxiety, but it’s a fan favorite with my clients. When anxiety is at a minimum, think about what makes you feel good - like really good! Is it the smell of fresh baked cookies, the lyrics to your favorite song, or the warmth of a fuzzy blanket? There are no wrong answers! Here are a few examples:

• Candles/essential oils (we don’t have to light them, per se, but simply to focus on the smell)

• Your favorite snack - I suggest something non-perishable and small, since ya know, longevity :)

• Sour candy or hot sauce packet (I will explain more in another post!)

• Water bottle

• Coloring book(s)

• Playlist of songs that spark joy

• Warm blanket or fuzzy socks

Gather up these items and keep them together in a spot that’s easily accessible to you and you won’t forget where it is - bedside table, desk, kitchen, etc. This way, when anxiety strikes, you have your favorite and most effective coping items in one place!

Conclusion

Long story short - I hear ya, anxiety is a pain in the ass when it comes in full throttle. Anxiety is a natural emotion that can sometimes be a little, or maybe very, over-protective depending on personal experiences. BUT, it doesn’t have to dictate your life - with hard work, patience, and practice, you can help teach your anxiety when it’s being harmful versus helpful. While the above tips on how to cope with anxiety are my clients’ favorites, there are many others that can be tailored to better fit what is effective for you.

As always, I’d like to be clear that this blog post isn’t intended as professional counseling or clinical advice. If you’re in need of support, please consider speaking to a professional to be evaluated.

You are also welcome to contact me to see if I might be able to support you as you journey forward.

~ Catherine

Photo by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash

Jackson, S. B., Stevenson, K. T., Larson, L. R., Peterson, M. N., & Seekamp, E. (2021). Outdoor activity participation improves adolescents’ mental health and well-being during the COVID-19 pandemic. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 18(5), 2506.